Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

Dopamine nation

The WiFi has been spotty at work this week, so my iPhone is effectively useless during work hours. (There’s no cellular network in our dungeon of an office.) Be that as it may, I still find myself reaching for it to check stuff, even though there’s nothing that can be checked. It’s like unlocking your phone during a flight: you know there’s nothing new to see, yet reflexes that’s been honed for over a decade is difficult to pause.

I like to think of myself as a mindful person, but I guess I’m not immune to the smartphone dopamine addiction. Every second of downtime must be filled with brand new information. The latest sports news on ESPN, or the latest nihilistic banter on Reddit. Boredom has been extinct since the first iPhone introduction. We did it!

Everybody does it, though. If anything, you look like the weird one if your face isn’t plastered to your phone. Imagine waiting with a crowd for an elevator, and you’re the only one staring into space. The strongly introverted me is not ready to stand out like that.

A coworker’s car failed, so he’s been walking to work. The obvious perplexity is: he doesn’t live anywhere near walking distances from work. (Otherwise the car failing would have zero bearing.) Instead of replacing the broken car, he’s choosing to commute on foot for over an hour. I admire the grit, but I have to wonder at his financial situation if he can’t easily replace the broken twenty year old car. Our State government job doesn’t pay extravagantly, but it’s sufficiently middle-class.

I get it: needing to replace a suddenly out of commission car is a huge blow to the wallet. But that’s why you keep an emergency fund. You know, for emergencies. I can’t fathom the stress living with such thin financial margins. Yes, right to privileged jail, right away.

Let him cook

President Trump has enacted tariffs on imports from Canada, Mexico, and China. Begun, the trade wars have. For what reason, it’s not immediately clear. For the general public, the salient thing is prices will be going up. If you’re looking to buy a car this year, pray that it isn’t manufactured in Canada or Mexico! You really think automakers are going to eat that tariff costs entirely?

The best thing to do right now is to let Trump cook (as the kids say these days). Whatever he’s got planned, be it Project 2025 or whatever, let him execute. The good ideas will work, and the bad ideas won’t. You have to allow people to directly feel the consequences. Otherwise the lesson never gets learned. I wonder how Trump-voting Federal employees are dealing with the freezes and return-to-office mandate. Your vote, your consequences…

What’s disgusting to see is people appealing to Democrats to do something. First of all, it’s extremely pointless to badger the minority party. Secondly, the party that has been pilloried for their empathy (the path to DEI is paved with very good empathic intentions) can’t then be asked to utilize that same empathy to save you. It’s like the woman who rejects the nice guy but yet wants the supportive benefits the nice guy provides.

You cannot have it both ways. Democrats ought to turn off their empathy muscles for the time being. They should not let their tendency to want to limit harm be used to save the same people that rejected it. Like the nice guy that refuses to leave, at some point you’re just allowing yourself to be abused.

I’m for letting winning Presidents to implement their agenda. The market (read: U.S. population) will determine whether they are good or bad. High inflation knocked out Biden/Harris; if Trump - due to the tariffs - causes another high inflation period, the Republican Party will surely be in a precarious position in the next election cycle.

Hassle free

I think what I value most these days is the lack of hassle. I just want to sit and be at peace. Now obviously there are some difficulties to achieving that, as I gesture at this thing called adult life. Too many responsibilities, not enough free time. I wake up in the morning with a list of must-dos, and I don’t feel good about it until that list is done. It’s definitely neurotic.

My BMW M2 is due for new tires, which presents a new hassle. I now have to research, order, and take the car to the tire shop. Another item added onto my list. I am a car enthusiast, but I am not enthusiastic (or no longer) about the parts of ownership that aren’t actually driving. If I could afford to pay a guy to come wash it every few weeks, I totally would do so. But because I cannot, the BMW gets a wash once a change of season.

Ever since the M2 got paid off last year, I’ve been toying with the idea of buying second car. The more I ponder about it, the more I’m leaning towards no (the wallet rejoices). The fleeting moments of enjoying what a second car would bring will not outweigh the additional hassle. I already don’t enjoy moving the M2 during street cleaning days (a San Francisco tradition), so why add to that hassle voluntarily by needing to move two cars? There’s going to be twice the car maintenance, too.

If I cannot have mental peace until things are settled and done, then the point of attack should be to limit the amount of things to be done. Pare away to only what’s important (like grocery shopping), and avoid adding stuff on the whims of fancy. I would love to buy a new set of wheels for the M2, but then I’ll have to deal with storing the original set. I’m not going to give myself that burden.

Feeling my age

You know you’re old when you prefer to read on an iPad - as opposed to a printed book - because you’re able to adjust the font size larger. Some of the fiction novels I’ve bought have absolutely the tiniest font possible. (Shrinkflation?) When it becomes painful to read a book, it’s time to switch the medium. I’m just happy to live in a era where digital is a possible alternative.

This must be the beginning of retinal deterioration from old age. I should order myself a set of readers soon…

Sometimes I forget I am heading right into the meaty parts of middle-age adulthood. I just don’t feel it, you know? Which is a good thing because I rather not have my body be the notifier of my current location on the lifespan spectrum. If anything, I am trying to maintain my mobility and strength for as long as possible. Though nothing to be done about the oculars. I’ve needed glasses since I was then.

I reckon part of the reason I don’t feel like I’m a middle-age adult is because I haven’t yet done the traditionally middle-age adult things. No house, no spouse, no kids. I’m effectively living out a prolonged early adulthood. The only responsibility I’ve got is to me. All the childhood trauma and anxieties are still there stewing in the background. Because my mind isn’t completely preoccupied with raising a home.

Sometimes I would talk to people in their twenties and it would seem like I’m the less mature one. That I’m the one lacking in lived experiences in comparison. Then sometimes I really feel my age when I realize I’m older than everyone on an NFL football team. I guess laps around the sun doesn’t automatically confer confidence or worldliness. There’s got to be many action to make those sort of growth happen. Age can be just a number.

Calorically dense

It’s baffling to me the sudden boost in the popularity of cookies. Crumbl is all the rage on the social media. The Insomnia Cookies that opened near our campus is inexplicably still in business. I guess it’s cyclical: every few years a dessert item gets hyped to the moon. Before cookies it was self-serve frozen yogurt. And before frozen yogurt, it was cupcakes. We’ll have another one when this cookies fad passes. My vote is for churros.

You know what’s forever? Donuts.

I am baffled because people seem so eager to consume these hugely caloric-dense foods. You ever noticed a Costco food court menu? A large chocolate chip cookie has more calories than a slice of pepperoni pizza (750 and 650 calories, respectively). 1,400 calories in total if you eat both; even more if you consume a non-diet soda with it. That’s not a meal, that’s nearly most of a standard person’s daily caloric intake. It’s no wonder American obesity rate is so great. (No need for President Trump to solve this one.)

A hot and melty chocolate-chip cookie is excruciatingly delicious. I would love to be able to eat it often. But I can’t, and I don’t. Not because the cookie is in it of itself is unhealthy, but because of the caloric density. Consuming calorically dense foods makes it super easy to overeat, and therefore get fat. Can you really just stop at one cookie? One donut?

I’ve long resigned to the reality that dessert foods are not for me. Cookies, ice cream, cakes, milk shake, boba tea: these are not in my food group. And that’s okay! We don’t get to have everything we want in life, for there are tradeoffs. Indulging in desserts will hinder my fitness goals. I’ve simply chosen the latter to be (way) more important.

Like winning the lottery

In our current national crisis of severe egg shortage, finding a two-dozen pack at Costco feels like winning the lotto.

It’s as if god himself wants me to continue having a constant egg supply. There I was at my local Costco on Saturday afternoon. It seems I had just missed a resupply of eggs: I saw many a cart with them, but when I got to the fridge section, there were no eggs to be found. That is, until I saw at the corner a fully intact two-dozen carton stacked underneath a few cartons with broken eggs. Pure luck is what that was. My two eggs a day habit shall not be interrupted. For now…

For all the joke about President Trump lowering produce prices - I really don’t care! Just let there be eggs for me to buy! I can absorb high groceries prices because I’m only buying for the singular me. (straight to privilege jail, right away.)

Of course, high grocery prices during the Biden years contributed a lot to Trump’s second ascendancy. You can throw statistics about how wages have kept up (or outpaced) with inflation - it doesn’t matter. Higher produce prices feel like a penalty, while a wage increase feels like something you’ve earned. It’s not a good feeling to get a raise, only for that money to get wiped out by inflation. Typically, a wage increase should mean more disposable income.

President Trump seems determined to curtail illegal immigration and deport illegal immigrants already on U.S. soil. Many of whom work in farming. When you diminish the labor supply, cost of goods go up. When cost of goods go up, so do prices. I’m skeptical that Americans would tolerate another inflationary shock to their grocery bills. Then again, it’s not like Trump can run for office again. For now…

Exploiters adjacent

On Shark Tank last evening, there was a woman peddling premium hiking socks for $24 a pair. I cannot wrap my mind around such extravagance. My modus operandi for socks is to buy in bulk at Costco (brand doesn’t matter). They get thrown away when holes inevitably develops. For a heavy wear item such as socks, I don’t see the utility of spending heavily. This isn’t a winter jacket that will last a lifetime kind of thing.

I’m sure premium wool socks feel fantastic. But who can afford them but millionaires or sock enthusiasts. It’s a luxury item for sure, not a must-have. At least with an expensive mattress one can make the argument the improvement on sleep is worth the money.

Maybe I’m just being a miserable miser. Half the stuff I see on Shark Tank, I can’t believe there are actually people who would spend money on them. In the same episode from yesterday, another entrepreneur was selling a metal trunk for people to store their keepsakes - for hundreds of dollars. A Sterilite plastic container from Target for magnitudes less money would have sufficed the same. I wonder: are we in so much consumer debt because of such frivolity?

Then again, the American economy would grind to a halt if a majority of the populace spend only on what’s truly necessary. DoorDash would not be worth billions because people understand it’s stupid to overpay menu prices plus fees and tip to have someone chauffeur a burrito to your home.

But please, by all means, spend. Debt spending is singlehandedly sustaining the r/churning subreddit. There aren’t thousands of dollars in bonus travel points to earn if on the slip side there aren’t customers to siphon heavy interest payments from. Those of us on the positive side are directly adjacent to the exploitation of people in severe credit card debt. That is, if your level of empathy causes you to regard credit card companies as exploiters.