Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

I should build a PC?

You know what I want to do? Build another PC. Not that I have any use for one, mind you. This is a strictly Mac household. But what I miss is the artistry in putting together various components into something functional and useful. The joy in picking specific parts that play well together, then fitting them in the most aesthetically pleasing way. You have not lived until you’ve spent hours in managing the mess of power and data cables into a pleasing presentation. This is the sort of passion project I am pining for.

Because once upon a time, my main computer were PCs that I meticulously (well, perhaps not the very first one) put together. Before I was able to afford playing with cars (read: being a working adult), customs PCs were the primary domain of my geek-dom. I remember getting a side job during junior year of high school specifically because I want to spent (relatively) extravagantly on a new self-built PC. I printed out a list of components-to-buy to put in my binder as a reminder of precisely what I am working towards.

Those were simple and magical times.

These days I don’t really build much of anything. I buy quality items that (hopefully) last a very long time. PCs have given way to Mac computers that work beautifully right out of the box. I rather use the time that would otherwise be spent tinkering with things for something more productive. Like reading a book, or studying Korean. It’s kind of ironic: I can afford to buy every top-of-the-line PC component, yet I haven’t built one in a long time. The high school me would be utterly dumbfounded by this.

Listen, if there was a way for me to build a PC, and then break it apart and return the parts? I simply want the joy of putting it together. I have zero use for the finished product.

What would you do?

What would you do if you have many millions of dollars? As in, what you would be doing instead of your present situation? This is not in relations to anything material - spending that money on lots of nice things - but rather a philosophical questions on how would you change your life right now if all money concerns are taken away. However absurd and hypothetical the question may be, I think it’s a worthy exercise to do from time to time, because your answer will reveal what is truly most important to you and what you are passionate about.

Because let’s face it, a big reason of why we do the work we do everyday is to take care of the money problem, and who amongst us haven’t daydreamed that if only we’d hit the lottery, we’d be doing something else way more interesting instead. Well, why not follow that daydream all the way to the end: what is that “something else” you would be doing if money is not a problem? No vague answers like “follow my passion” or “quit my job”, but really drill down to precisely what specific things about your life that you would change.

Last night in conversation a friend of mind jokingly predicted I was going to the first billionaire amongst the group. To that I replied that if I had that much money, I’d move to Asia, buy a small house (with a garage, obviously), and probably read books most of the time. That is indeed what I would like to be doing, if money issues of modern civilization was not a factor: have a little place of quiet to myself, so I can do plenty of reading and studying, with a garage to store and work on my car (automobiles is the big passion of my life).

The question then becomes: is there anything actually stoping me from doing those things right now - without the bundles of cash in reserves? I may not have a house, but the type of abode doesn’t prevent me from reading books and studying. I may not have a garage, but I already bought my dream car, and keeping that lovely machine maintained and in good shape doesn’t require my own private enclosed parking space. Even the part about moving to Asia: I can do that right now (well, after COVID) if I sold much of my possessions and investments. Of course, I’d need to find a job over on the other side of the world, but even billionaires continue to work, even though they are set for life many times over.

Perhaps the lesson is: you don’t need absolute financial security to change your life towards what you truly want to do. Figure out what that is, and make a change - however small - starting today. I’m going back to reading…

The passionate few

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what exactly is having a “passion” for something.

On a car forum I frequent, there used to be this guy who would make excellent photo threads of car events. Recently he seems to have disappeared, and the rest of us forum members have been wondering where he went. You don’t realize you take people for granted until the first big car event where there’s no photograph thread afterwards. Where did he go?

Through discussion with a mutual friend, it turns out he was tired of spending the massive amount of time editing pictures and making it into a proper forum post, only to receive tepid response from the forum gallery. Why put in all the effort when the reception feels so unappreciative?

First, I have to say it’s indeed super time consuming and tedious to put together a story thread with photos and words; for the person consuming the content it’ll likely be scrolled through in minutes, but for the person creating, it takes many, many hours. Each of my own photo stories take at least eight hours each to make, so I can sympathize with the amount of work that forum guy puts into his posts.

Second, we should all be more vocally and visibility appreciative when we enjoy reading/watching things made by other people. Absolutely nothing brightens a creative’s day more than positive feedback and people giving thanks for sharing. It may sound cliche but it truly makes it worth the effort.

But with that said, I have to disagree with that guy’s decision to stop making photo threads, simply because of the perceived lack of feedback. Is it really something you’re passionate about if you get discouraged by the actions and opinion of outsiders? For me, having and following a passion is strictly internal: it’s for me and nobody else. It’s the engine behind the power that keeps me home on a weekend working on a project, while others are out having fun. Not that I’m not having fun, because passion projects are fun.

Creating content for this website is and will always be something of a joy for me, and I don’t care if not a single person reads it (and I’m thankful for those who do.) So long as I myself am satisfied with the output, that’s perfectly good enough for me.

Maybe that forum poster lost his passion, which is okay, too.

What if I hit the lottery?

I seldom play the lottery because rationality informs me the odds of winning are vanishingly minimal, and the money would otherwise be better served in an investment account. That’s precisely what I’ve been doing; volatility in the equities market these past few weeks notwithstanding. Investing in stocks is sort of like gambling: none of it is guaranteed, so in that way I don’t feel the need to buy lottery tickets or frequent Las Vegas casinos.

In the rare times when the lottery jackpot reaches stratospheric heights like last evening’s $1.6 billion in the Mega Millions, I'm inclined to buy in at the minimum. The odds haven’t changed of course, but the prize incentive is increased so dramatically that it’d feel rather stupid to not at least throw my hat into the proverbial ring. After all, the hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take". $40 million is life-changing indeed, but $1.6 billion is another life.

It’s always fun exercise to dream about exactly what you will do with that amount of money. I reckon the dopamine hit alone is worth squandering the two dollars required for one ticket. Plenty of people would probably quit their jobs, buy property somewhere to live, and follow their true passions. I’m certainly amongst that camp: if I hit the lottery I’d be a vagabonding photographer, with a focus on driving cars in spectacular locations, and write about it all on this website.

The question is, would I need to win a jackpot to do that?

Answer is a decided no. It doesn’t take an enormous sum to travel and write; get good enough I might even be decently paid for it. What the hypothetical lottery winning provides is absolute freedom: freedom from the obligations of a normal person. People aren’t keen to quit their jobs to chase a passion because they’ve got others dependent on their regular paychecks, be that a spouse, children, or a mortgage.

I currently have none of those obligations, and quite a bit saved up in the bank (again, last couple of weeks’ stock market notwithstanding). So what’s stopping me from going after my passion?

Just me.

I don’t suppose any of this is OSHA approved.

The million dollars test

If you’re suddenly a million dollar richer (or whatever sum that would free you from your current place of employ), what would you then be doing everyday?

That would your passion.

If I were to be gifted a million dollars, I’d buy a car and get on the road. I’d take photographs wherever I go, and write about it on this website. Monetization will come from said writing and photography, plus perhaps posting videos on Youtube.

That doesn’t sound like it would need a million dollars; if anything I can go do that right now. So why don’t I? What makes the additional million dollars so special if it’s financial value isn’t necessarily required to chase my passion?

These are good questions.

Quitting our day-job to follow our passion is a highly risky move, at least in our minds. The extra million dollars provides the safety cushion that eliminates the perceived risk. If the passion project fails, there’s the bundle of money to fall back on.

Great outcomes come from taking great risks. What if we didn’t wait for the cash windfall and just set off anyways? Because let’s not delude ourselves: the million dollars won’t ever come, and each of us will have to contend with forsaking our passion for the comforts of a regular job.

I grapple with that quandary almost everyday.