Equilibrium

Finally. After six of the longest week in my human history, the 16-inch MacBook Pro with the M1 Max chip has arrived on my desk. Never before have I waited so long for a piece of hardware. The chip shortage is real. God speed to my fellow travelers in the massive Reddit thread of people awaiting their orders.

50 days. I’ve gone 50 whole days without my main computer. In order to pay for a specced-out brand new MacBook Pro, I had to trade-in the old one (I say old; it was a 2019 model, which is still plenty fresh and capable). With the gift card in hand, then I was able to put in an order for the new unit. The last time I did this, I was only without a computer for about a week. This go round, the wait for truly awful.

The mighty supply chain, man.

I’m the type of person who hates the in-between times of things actually getting done. Especially something as crucial as replacing my main laptop, the one with my entire digital life on it. Compounding the frustration is the fact I can’t control any of it. What can I really do if Apple can’t build their latest MacBook Pros fast enough? At least with something like a broken appliance I can stay up all night if necessary to fix the problem. And I’ve done it. I can’t go to sleep knowing my monitor isn’t functioning correctly!

So yeah, it’s been a rough six weeks. I couldn’t get into the groove of life at all. Something just wasn’t quite right until the new MacBook Pro was in my hands. Soon as the backup was done transferring over from the Time Machine disk, I felt mentally whole again. Everything in my life is back to an equilibrium (selling the family’s leased Hyundai Tucson was another big thing on my plate), and I can simply get on with it.

View fullsize

The new deck.

The waiting game is hard

Continuing with the story from yesterday, I had to order a small part to fix up the Porsche. Problem is, the particular piece of plastic is a special order item, which in combination with the Presidents Day holiday yesterday means I will have to wait a relatively long time the part to arrive at my doorstep (and hopefully not stolen). The extended wait is long and agonizing because I want nothing more than to repair the 911 as quickly as possible, however cosmetic and superficial the damage may be (thank god for that).

For better and worse, that’s just how my mind functions: any task worth doing, I’d like to get it done swiftly. I can remember back in my teens of forgoing meals and sleep on numerous occasions because the home-built PC was malfunctioning and I simply could not mentally bare doing anything else until the fix is finished. No surprised then I moved away from PCs later on in life and migrated over to Apple’s Macintosh. With Apple, at least I can go to sleep, knowing there’s nothing I can do about my broken Mac until my appointment at the Apple Store.

Not to say the waiting game isn’t anxiety-filled: the mind starts going through worse-case scenarios when the outcome of a job is unknown. It’s why I try to speed up the process as much as I can, to silence those voices in my head (Randy Orton theme song plays). Indeed, I could have paid for expedited shipping for the Porsche part, but the need to alleviate my anxiety was outmatched by my spending sensibilities. Instead, I’ll deal with the ambiguity that comes with the wait, difficult as it sometimes can be.

So I preoccupy myself with other tasks, which probably isn’t the best thing to do because the underlying problem is still there, but at some point you have to keep moving forward. Unlike Amazon Prime one-day shipping, life doesn’t acquiesce to your just-in-time wants quite so easily. Processes takes time; and even though I crave the calm that comes after a task is done, there will be others to come, and the anxiety renews again. I have to learn to be calm while things are in-flux, which as always, is a work in progress.

View fullsize

Family games.

Landscape photography involves a lot waiting

The branch of photography I participate in is landscape photography, and the name of the game is waiting. Lots of waiting. To get the best light, to wait out strange weather patterns, and even the general public getting out of the shot, a hearty dose of patience is prerequisite to doing landscape photo work. 

And that can get tiring indeed.

Everyone knows the best light is the hours around sunrise and sunset: blue hour and golden hour, respectively. Getting shots during golden hour isn’t a problem because I’d simply stay out as long as needed. Blue hour however is slightly more difficult because the I'll have to break my circadian rhythm. Bad enough that sunrise is wicked early in the morning, but you have to factor in travel and setup time in addition to that, so obviously there's not going to be much sleep. 

In the trip to Korea last year, in order to get a sunrise shot up on this crater, we had to wake up at 3am because it took an hour to get to the location and another hour to hike up the mountain. Exacerbating the situation it was summer so blue houra was quite a bit earlier than it would’ve been during winter. Well worth the effort but I’m not sure I can do that constantly: I value a proper night’s sleep above a lot of things. 

So golden hour it is for me. 

Then I would pray the weather gods cooperates. This past weekend we wanted to take some sunset hour photos of the Golden Gate Bridge but San Francisco’s famous fog spoiled the party. The entire ocean-facing side was covered in clouds, not giving the sun rays a chance to poke through. Were I adamant about capturing this I would’ve needed to return another day under more favorable weather. 

It’s super time involving, but I love the solitude and peace when I’m out in the field, especially away from the bustle of the city. Something about setting up shop somewhere, music in my ear, and waiting for the perfect moment to appear before the lens: it’s thoroughly meditative. 

Perhaps instead of planing to buy another sports car I should instead purchase a rugged SUV and go overlanding for landscape photos. A thing to think about. 

When the sun isn't cooperating you go long exposure with an ND filter.