Don't dream it's over

This past weekend I enjoyed some lazy time doing nothing substantial by watching Initial D Fifth Stage. I’d realized that while I’ve seen the first four stages of the anime multiple times, I’ve yet to rewatch the fifth series since it first aired all the way back in 2014(!). As one of the three major seminal products in inspiring my passion for cars - the other two being Gran Turismo video game and Top Gear television program, I figured it was a good time as any for a revisit.

Every time I watch Initial D I am overwhelmed with a desire to just get in the car and drive. Good thing my current car is parked quite bit away from where I live, because to be under the influence of mountain road drift battles and effervescent Eurobeat music while piloting the Porsche would not be the best mixture for a good outcome. I’d begin to think myself as the master of the mountain roads and go way beyond the limits of safety; definitely don’t want to end up like this guy.

Anyways, as I was half way through the anime marathon, my mind couldn’t help itself and wandered to the future some hours later when I’d have finished watching the entirety of Fifth Stage. I then started feeling sad that this current happiness of rewatching a beloved anime will soon be over and I’d be back to the harsh reality of having to prepare for work the next day. Indeed, why am I upset about it being over when I’m still in the middle of it? If doing something relaxing and fun is going to make me feel bad afterwards, then what’s the point?

This experience isn’t new: I can remember being at concerts and feeling upset midway through that this moment of bliss will soon be over.

This tendency of mine to feel sad about happy things ending is definitely not healthy. I’d get detached from the present and unable to immerse fully in what is suppose to be joyous activities. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s productive to allow my base state of happiness or feeling to be affected by things I do, whether it be something leisurely like watching television, or something burdensome like the weekday work. The constant up and down would be disastrous for my mental well-being, when all I really want is peace.

Emotion is good and welcomed, but not when it comes at the expense of being in the moment, and feeling melancholic about something happy that will be over in a few hours. As I’ve said many times, things like this is a constant work in progress.

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My brother’s in Oregon.

My first joy of driving wasn't in a car

Back in my high school days, Initial D was the biggest thing amongst us kids who loved Japanese cars. I was introduced to the anime by a friend of mine who lend me his bootleg CDs of the first series, and as a person who grew up on watching Japanese anime, I was quite excited that finally there was one about cars.

Kids these days have it so incredible good with easy online access to content; back in our day there was no such thing as Youtube, no such thing as digital release - Internet wasn’t even fast enough. Anime gets broadcasted on TV in Japan, and then you either wait for the DVDs, or pray someone recorded the broadcast on a computer, dub in English subtitles, and puts it up on peer-to-peer networks (Bittorrent for life). For the second and third series of Initial D I actually had to ask my father’s friend who was visiting Hong Kong at the time to buy the DVDs. It wasn’t until the fourth series that the content was widely available online the day after broadcast thanks to dedicated subbing groups.

Alongside the anime program there’s naturally offshoots in merchandising. One of the most popular Initial D related items were the arcade machines. The opportunity to “drive” the cars in the numerous racing battles seen in the anime was completely irresistible. Luckily for us there were arcade machines a brief 15 minute walk from our high school - at San Francisco State, where I currently work at, coincidently. Back then the hoards of people queueing up just to have a go was enormous, often dozen deep during the hours immediately after school.

Unfortunately I was seriously lacking in funds (each turn required two dollars) so I never got too far into the game unlike most of my peers. Now that I think about it I don’t think I’ve played Initial D more than five times. I thought wouldn’t it be great - far less costly, and no lines - if I had such a driving game setup at home. When Gran Turismo 4 was introduced in 2004, I seize the chance to do just that.

Logitech and other accessories manufacturers was at the infancy of offering wheel setups for driving games, and for $150 in 2004 dollars I bought a Logitech Driving Force Pro to get the Initial D arcade-like experience at home. We had to build a stand out of Home Depot wood to position the wheel in front of the television, and for seating I simply used my desk chair. It was crude indeed compared to the Logitech T300RS and Playseat Challenge combo I’ve got now, but chasing the final bits of realism and force-feedback wasn’t the point: back then it was solely about the pure joy of driving.

A kid who’ve loved car since he can remember was all of a sudden able to drive over 700 of them in GT4. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t remotely close to piloting the real thing; I had a steering wheel in my hand, with gas and brake pedals beneath my feet, and I’m controlling a car on the screen in front of me. That was more than enough, especially since I haven’t yet gotten my driver license. I absolutely worn it out out driving on the Nurburgring whenever I had free time, which is something i still do in Assetto Corsa.

So yes, my first ‘joy of driving’ moment wasn’t in an actual car, which I think is pretty awesome.

In 2016 the Initial D machines are still there, though the amount of customers have dwindled considerably.