Readers of this blog will know that these days I’m driving around in my brother’s car when I need to physically go into work. He’s still in the phase of car enthusiasm where he likes to pour money into modifications and making the vehicle his very own. As someone who drives the car rather infrequently, it’s always a treat and surprise to find out what exactly has he done to the car each time around. It definitely reminds me of the days when I too put most of my discretionary income into modifying my Toyota Corolla.
The latest mod my brother did to his Audi A3 is an exhaust and a retune. While most people tend to purchase an aftermarket exhaust for more flow and sound, he simply got the muffler chopped off. Much like a Fiat 500 Abarth that comes from the factory with no muffler, my brother’s Audi A3 now barks loudly at any RPM. For someone of my age where I prefer to slip out of buildings unnoticed (don’t mind the GT3, please), the newfound loudness of the A3 is a bit bothersome. I can see why switchable exhausts with both a silent and loud mode is so en vogue in sports car these days.
My own 911 is rather noisy at any engine RPM, so it’s not really something to complain about in my brother’s car. What is worthy of complaint is the tune he’s put on the Audi: the notorious “burble tune”. This refers to the pops and bangs that happens when the throttle snaps shut as one lets off the gas pedal, something manufacturers have programmed into cars these days because for whatever reason, people seem to like the fake crackles and reverberations. Never mind the fact that it’s effectively gasoline being burned off in the exhaust track: an utter waste of gas for some noise.
You’d expect pops on the overrun from dedicated sports cars such as a Jaguar F-Type; on a plain Audi A3 four-door it’s downright silly. Worse, my brother have put a tune where the burbles happen even when I let off the gas at low RPMS, which is just about as fake and contrived as it gets. Honestly I it’s slightly embarrassing driving his car around, all the while wishing for a quiet cruising mode to toggle to.
Trying to turn a commuter sedan into a sports car have drained many a wallets from enthusiasts. Take it from me, someone who has done exactly that: save the money, buy the sports car. It doesn’t even have to be a 911, though it should be.
Noodles are better than rice.